Over involvement of parents can increase test stress

Parents’ involvement is important to motivate, organize and improve the educational performance of their child. Their involvement is important to help their child to choose the right subjects on which he/she will found his/her academic career as well as, to keep the child on the right track so as to achieve a bright academic career. In fact, not only at school level but, at each and every stage of the academic career, the involvement of parents is required to help their siblings to accomplish their academic objective. Before discussing the negative impacts of the parents’ involvement in the exam preparation of the students, let us take a brief look at the reason why the involvement of parents plays an important role when the students are preparing for their examinations.

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For most of the students, rather for even the best possible students, examinations are always treated as the biggest challenges in their academic career, and though they do not resent it, but you cannot say they love it. The students know that the importance of examinations could not be ignored as their entire academic performance ultimately depends upon the grade points, they score in these exams. Even excellent class performances are not enough to have a good academic career. Scoring good grade points in the school and college examinations is a must. Naturally, owing to such an importance, the examinations cast significant pressure, both psychological and physical, on even the best possible students. The pressure sometimes seems to be enormous for the mediocre students, as passing exams sometimes relates to the survival of their academic career. The role of parents is to provide full-fledged support to their child at the time of their exam preparation and the support extends from keeping the examinee motivated to keeping him/her physically fit. The role becomes too much important for the students of lower classes, who are yet to learn how to organize themselves before the exams. Helping the child to frame a routine, taking vital information from their tutors about how the preparation should be done by their child, helping the child to prepare for exams on the basis of the guidelines of the tutors, making a conducive environment for study, providing nutritious food timely to keep the health condition at peak level, being patient with the child at the time of their excitement and making them comfortable with the situation by motivating them, are all belong to the quarters of responsibilities of the parents when their child is taking exam preparation. Sometimes, arranging a good counselor, in case the child becomes too anxious about the exam, is also a vital support to be provided by the parents to their child.

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However, in practice, it seems that the responsible parents usually try to discharge all kinds of responsibilities at the time of exam of their child. But the discharging of responsibilities should have its own limit. When some responsibility is being delegated to you, there will be the boundary lines within which you have to discharge your responsibilities. Crossing the boundary lines may bring out some devastating results. This is what observed in the case of some parents when they get too much involved when their child is taking preparation for examination. The role that should be played by the parents is that of a mentor, motivator and of a pacifier to give strength and confidence to the student. But, some couple starts taking control of everything and try to impose a stringent routine so that their child can achieve the best possible result. Under duress, such additional pressure makes the thing worse. Sometimes the involvement of the parents reaches to the height of coercion. They force their own routine without consulting the tutors of their child. They force their own will without acknowledging the ability of their child. They put their expectation above the expectation of their child. All these, when coming together, just shake the confidence of the child and consequently the concentration. The loss of concentration and the confidence spells disaster and is eventually reflected in the examination performance of the student. Another funny aspect of such behavior of some parents is that they do not get themselves involved in such a way during the whole of the year. In most of the cases, it is found that their parental responsibility sense becomes alive just before few days or few weeks of the exam, and they try to take control of everything so as to compel their child to get the best possible grades with few days of their involvement. It’s a project for them, not a process.

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Why I have used the word project? There is sound reason. These kinds of parents, usually think, that there must be a return on the investment they are making for the education of their child. The return is measured by two parameters. One is, of course, securing a good academic career for their child so that he/she can secure a good professional career at the end of the academic career, and the other one is the social status. They very often link the academic performance of their child with their own social status. The more brilliant is the result of the child; the better is the social status. This is because when the student gets a good result, it is the habit of the parents to take the pride of being the main architecture behind it, irrespective of the fact that they have just done their duty and it is the student who is really the main architecture of the good performance. Of course, I will give an explanation for such a controversial opinion. You will never find some parents who do not invest for the education of their child, though it largely depends upon their income. But, nonetheless, they try to do the best. Now how many of them get a successful result from their child? Not many. This is because the student is the most important factor to make their investment successful. Otherwise why the students belonging to the same environment, getting same educational facilities differ so much in their academic performance? In fact, it is directly related to the maturity of the students. The more the maturity of the student, the more will be his perception of the benefit of education and the more motivated he/she will be to have a good academic career. The parents, the teachers all play an auxiliary role in this game, not the main one. Some parents very often forget that.

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Once under huge pressure of getting the examination right, the students themselves try to do as best as possible but, you add your expectation to their expectation and together, the result will cross the limit of the capability of the student to deliver and they will simply succumb to the pressure. This could be dangerous for not only the particular exam, but this type of parental expectation may sometimes inflict permanent damage to the academic career of the students. Your child is not your means to satisfy a target set by you. They are separate and independent individual with their own set of skills, confidence, dream and target of life. You cannot ride on your child to fulfill your unsatisfied desire of being a great student. That is not the job of your child rather, do not forget it was your job and it is you who failed to accomplish it successfully. You have given birth to your son or daughter and it is your responsibility to educate them properly and without any expectation. Being parents, it is your duty helping them to bring them out of the tremendous pressure they are facing at the time of exam and you cannot do this duty with the expectation of getting a return on your investment.